I'd planned by now, nearly halfway through the year, to have made enormous leaps and bounds and huge artistic strides to great new designs and innovative coolness.
This, however, hasn't happened. Let's see what's going on, shall we?
* I started out with an Inspirational Journal. I am no longer using it. It's buried under papers.
* I started out with a stack of books so I could learn new techniques. So far they're still in a stack, although I've flipped through a few and read one.
* I've spent an inordinate amount of time in bed, reading a heck of a lot of novels, fighting a heck of a lot of migraines. I know I can't help that, but it still has been a huge time suck.
* I haven't even made all that much jewelry at all.
So I've got the "Time Off" part down pretty well!
But that wasn't The Plan.
So what have I done?
Well, I started lampworking, although all I can do is make spacers, and I did take two cold connections classes, but I haven't used the techniques since. I haven't updated my web site daily, like I'd planned, but then I have contracted for a NEW web site to be built.
So I guess it's not a total loss yet.
One thing I HAVE done my level best to do is stop looking at what everyone else is doing so as not to compare their progress with mine. It's crushing to feel like the world is passing me by, so while I still visit blogs, there are certain ones that I bypass (not that they ever comment anyway!) and focus instead on relaxing and getting well and rejuvenating.
I'm afraid I'm disappointing everyone, and I so don't want to do that. But there comes a point where I have to realize I'm just not able to do it all in a certain amount of time given my health and other obligations. I'm not giving up -- far from it. What I'm doing is regrouping, taking a deep breath, and remembering what this was supposed to be all about.
Lori Anderson designs jewelry for Lori Anderson Designs. She also writes for the blog Pretty Things.
Lori, you are doing great! Your work is beautiful and you have come very far indeed only six months into the year. You do what you can given your health and obligations. Keep looking at what others are doing, but for inspiration rather than comparison. Someone might do something better than you do. So what? He or she isn't you and they will never do that as well. The most creative people I know get frustrated because they can't get what's inside their head out into their medium. I just hope you continue to work at your own speed, whatever it is, because I will continue to enjoy looking at your stuff.
ReplyDeleteAww, don't be hard on yourself! You do what you can do. I think you have been phenomenally inspiring to loads of people, don't forget that! I totally understand about blog-reading...I love reading my favorites, but sometimes I dread clicking and seeing jewelry that I should have created first!! :)
ReplyDeletelori, everything has it's own timing..you can only do what you can do..your health and well being is above any thing else.
ReplyDeleteDon't be hard on yourself. You've had a lot going on with your health and, in spite of that, you still find the time and energy to create beautiful jewelry and be a wonderful mother to Z.
ReplyDeleteHey Lori, Please yourself and you will be pleasing everyone else. Put yourself and your health first, do things that make you happy and the rest will fall into place. It's not a race, it's a journey! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteNow - I just need to go live what I write...
Yeah, what Carol & Melissa said! I think you're doing great - on top of dealing with the migraines! One day at a time, my friend.
ReplyDeleteWell, the year isn't over yet is it? You doing fine, sometimes we wanna do much more than what we actually can do. And that's called being human lol When you feel like you haven't accomplished loads, have just one glance at how many people are following your blog...That's got to cheer you up!! Well done Lori ^_^
ReplyDeleteLori, I am so grateful for all the things you share! Sometimes all you need to be is who you are. You are an inspiration and an open honest treasure. That in itself is enough. Accomplishment is wonderful but the To Do lists we hold over our heads like weapons can really become overwhelmingly counter productive. I try to accept what each day brings as far as time and priorities and believe that if I go with my life's natural flow I am happier and healthier and also more productive in the long run. Loving patience with yourself is very hard to learn.
ReplyDeletePS I am having a giveaway this week. Maybe that will cheer you up!
ReplyDeleteaquariart-chocoholic.blogspot.com
I think your idea of a year off was to learn about new techniques and about yourself. Which you have succeeded in doing. And when you have to deal with migraines life screeches to a halt.
ReplyDeleteYou have inspired a lot of people and I for one have enjoyed reading about your experiences.
Shall I tell you what I was "supposed" to have done by now? Starting from when I was laid off in January of 2009, by now I was supposed to be:
ReplyDelete*Earning 1/2 of my living as a medical transcriptionist (I'm still trying to finish the course, and even working full time at it, I won't be able to earn a living at it.)
*Be travel-teaching at art events nationwide (I've done one, and was not invited back, and the second one I got into just informed me that no one has signed up for my classes.)
*Have a loyal following of my blog and designs (yes, lots of people like my stuff, but it does NOT sell well.)
*Have a successful Etsy store (see above.)
Instead, I'm still on unemployment and coming to the conclusion that the only way I'm going to make enough money to live on is by going back to work as an executive assistant, by doing which I spend all my time making nasty rich people look good.
So there. I think you're doing pretty damn well, considering the ways of this world.....
Lori...thanks for saying what I've been saying to myself for some time. I'm struggling with some similar issues, though without having taken time off. Most of it's due to a new job and 900 mile move for said new job, which is sucking away all my excess energy. Add sleeplessness and related headaches to it and I haven't been doing much of anything creative either.
ReplyDeleteSo in a nutshell... you're not alone. Let's both keep the faith that things will turn around at some point, our energy will return and, in the meantime, we probably should stop being quite so hard on ourselves.
Just putting together bead soup has helped me move forward enourmously - thanks so much - and reading novels is never a waste of time. I just finished "The Lacuna" by Barbara Kingsolver. Seems like a lot of my reading these days centers on the 30s and 40s. So then I read the latest Nora Roberts for some total brain candy - yum!
ReplyDeleteWow, everyone has already said what I was thinking!
ReplyDeleteLori - you are doing great. I know it's hard to see it that way when you compare yourself to others and when you have a lot of goals that don't seem to be completed. And it probably doesn't help when you have migraines a lot and have to spend time not doing what you really wish you could be doing. But honestly if you took a step back you'd see that you have done a lot just with your blog alone (see above comments).
So here comes my therapist suggestion (I can't help it): what if you focused on one goal a month. You still have 6 months left! That could be 6 goals =)
Hang in there!
I haven't followed this blog from the start but I'm guessing that you set yourself a deadline - a year - for some reason or another. That was the mistake. Time will always get taken up by other things - some in your control other not; this is the first thing not to get frustrated by, things will take as long as they do. Frustration with this big looming deadline will overshadow everything else - let yourself off the hook and you'll feel more relaxed and everything will seem much better. (Stress doesn't help migraines).
ReplyDeleteMigraines are so terrible - that really sucks. So don't force it. You doing great and sometimes just letting things go can be so relaxing and you gather the strength to do the things you need to do or you want to achieve. Heads up! regards Stefanie
ReplyDeleteLori You have totally inspired me. And as for goals, I remember way back when I promised I'd post beads for sale every Saturday.
ReplyDeleteLied - didn't I.
Have to forgive myself, as do you.
Life happens while we are making other plans.
Enjoy. Blessings. Love
hi Lori,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a heartfelt and vulnerable situation. I understand much more then I am brave enough to write about in my own blog. You are not alone. Our health problems aren't the same, but the end result is the same. Lots of time in bed. I have journals full of sketches of things I want to do, but can't find the strength for. I had to read your blog twice. I fell asleep after the first time. Side affect of all the medication, I call it the forehead on the keyboard syndrome. Even when i'm on the flip side of it, and don't sleep, and am being a total insomniac, i still can't seem to get done in 48 hours of no sleep what others get done in a normal day with sleeping.
i'm glad i read this today. Again. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm not sure your intention of writing it was to help someone else, but you did help me feel so not alone today. I read the other comments on this post, lots of others saying the same thing. Your not alone. so hopefully you too, don't feel so alone in it after today.
I know what you mean about the blogging. Best advice follow your heart on your creations. That is what I do! Theres something for everyone and all I can be is me lol everyone else is taken! ox
ReplyDeletehey lori - if it is one thing i have learned, is to not be too hard on myself. our situations are, to use the overused saying "it is what it is". we don't have a lot of control over things in our lives (your health, my son's health) and we can only take things day by day. in the scheme of things, your progress is going quite well. i see changes in your blog, new logo and your new bead work. it is hard to see the progress in ourselves up close because we are front and center. but you are doing just fine. i totally agree with you about limiting looking at what everyone else is doing, because you are right, those insecurities creep up and suddenly we feel left behind, etc. i'm not sure when art became such a competitive sport, but i realize it is unhealthy to try and compare myself to what others are doing. so you've got the right idea!
ReplyDeletehugs,
kecia
Lori,
ReplyDeleteHow can we be disappointed with you? I am amazed that you have been able to accomplish as much as you have between the migraines and having a small child. Growing isn't just doing, it is also relaxing and reflection.
Lori, I can so relate. I am truly blessed by having this book contract, no doubt about that. But it's hard to not be able to share all of my discoveries with everyone. It's hard to keep up my blog. It's hard to keep up my etsy shop. It's hard to generate as much enthusiasm for torch-firing as I want because I can't keep up. We are way too hard on ourselves. I should be cursed for even complaining!
ReplyDelete